an unexpected medium

What if you had a relationship with death? Could that create more room for wisdom, purpose and love in your life?

Through the very unusual circumstances surrounding reconnecting to a dear friend and ultimately his death a short year later, I said to myself, ‘I want to pay attention in my life.’ The life altering experience simply, yet very clearly, left me with a truth felt down to my bones, if I had ignored a random feeling and it’s unexpected inspiration to reach out to my friend on that average afternoon driving in my car, I would have missed my friend, his very important last year of life, his death and loving moments throughout for me.

my story

So that’s what I did, I began to pay-attention to random feelings and thoughts. I floated between, this can’t be real and the next second, Holy Smokes. . . feeling the life importance of information in some of the moments. I could not ignore this, whatever this was, was happening. I spent the first part of this journey in the What: what is this information (when it popped up)? was my mind playing tricks on me? What are these random details given to me (sometimes felt, heard, known)? Because the What grew in number of occurrences, magnitude of information for myself and others, it was time to start questioning the Why! Why me? Why now? Was I punished? Why would I be included in such profound moments for others, meaning why tell me there’s nothing I can do? I began to feel overwhelmed and yet, my brain could no longer talk me out of a truth, whatever this was, it was real and it was going to keep happening. This source of information was coming from somewhere that was not me, it was honest and I could feel it. So now I chose to accept journey of the Big What and Why? what was this other source of information and what was the meaning of all of this? (this would be the place for dramatic suspenseful music. . . )

My saving grace through it all, the love of my better half, who did not know what was happening to me, to our family but he knew my heart and could feel the sincerity of whatever ‘this’ was. Without his love, endless listening, encouragement and wisdom to keep me off the ledge. . . today I would be, our family would be, without Spirit. I was inspired to contact my other mother, my mothers dearest friends, a chosen member of our family for most of my life, the Light Lady, Elsie Kerns to ask if I could talk to her. When I didn’t know anything, I knew she would hear me, and she did. That day changed everything, being heard, supported in love. Elsie never said the words: psychic, medium, mediumship or dead people. She sent me on my way with an assignment; a link to a recording of a friend she had helped along his journey and instruction to listen to it.

Months later, driving on the interstate I was reminded that I had not done my homework! the link from Elsie, ugggh, I did not listen to it. I found the link, opened it and began to listen as I drove. The recording was a man, talking to a group. I had no background, just the recording. He spoke of his journey in Spirit. Where his life had been, what wasn’t working, and his beginning, his journey in Spirit. After just a few minutes, I pulled my car over on the Interstate and listened to the remaining 40-minutes. I knew exactly what he felt, I knew what he was saying, I felt it! Without thinking, I relooked at Elsie’s email with the link, found his address that she had given me and emailed him. ‘Hi. my other-mother Elsie recommended I talk to you.’ Very unlike me, I did not look up his website, did not google him, I just emailed away. No brain, all Spirit. Thank Goodness he is Spirit led when he received that email. A short time later, I walked into his home for an appointment, an appointment of what, I had no idea. He could have been an axe murderer, I simply was rolling in. He told me of his journey and then said, ‘Now, you are going to tell me about me. You are going to close your eyes. Put yourself in a state of peace and tell me about me”. Panic! Closed my eyes out of shear fear, I’m sure. Said a million curse words under my breath and then it happened. I saw him, as a boy. His grandmother and a frog. The words I don’t know would fly out of my mouth. He would kindly respond ‘yes you do, tell me.’ I would freak out more, and then start rambling. This dance went on for sometime. It felt like an eternity and a minute all at once. Eventfully, I claimed I was done. Then I had to open my eyes. I believe I did one at a time, you know with that you’re terrified to see what’s waiting for you. Eyes opened, I saw him, sitting still across from me, tears in his eyes, in such a state of peace. He asked me if I would like to hear his response to the ramblings I had shared. Of course. He told me the details that were spot on, the pieces that made sense to him and the frog that moved him to emotion, the watery eyes. I was stunned. blown away. I could feel my heart beating, almost speechless I replied “Oh my God, I have no idea what happened!”

He replied, “I know! isn’t that the coolest thing.”

In that moment, I felt more like me than I ever had and I had no idea who I was. That day changed my life and the many years since that day.

So, that Big choice to begin my journey of the Big What and Why is where I have been and will always be. A humbling, healing, not always fund or easy, often times including laughter and always loving, Always journey is where my life’s purpose unfolds. This individual journey, connecting to self, learning who I am, experiencing love and grieving in the sacred space of the dying through moments created by the Divine for others and always for me.

work in progress

As my journey continues today I know the source of wisdom to be Spirit, the Divine source bigger than our human selves. I have been witness to the simplicity and omnipotent experience of love, and that there is so much more to learn. I know value my relationship with death and know dying to be one of my greatest teachers. We are all going to die; in reality we all live the dying experience many times over in our lives, even if we choose not to see it.

How different would your life be if you saw the experience of dying, that will happen to every human being, as a shared experience, a journey that unites us all, and can teach us all not just about the experience of death for self and those we love, but our journey of living!

Every person is a unique story, a legacy like no other to be honored in their living as well as their dying. We tell the stories of our life when we reminisce with family through laughter and tears while we live, if we continue to tell those stories after physical death, legacy continues love and continues learning and continues connection. That connection to love, continues connection to self and with just a little more effort and courage, that continues communication of Spirit, that is Mediumship. *some of us just hear it a little louder! Love lasts forever, death does not break the bond of love, physical death breaks the physical human bond and we learn to communicate differently, just like moving to another county, staying in touch with your loved ones through letters and even more through Spirit, when you feel them randomly, you know they need a little love from you so you send it to them through the universe from a far. That’s Spirit, that is love, death isn’t that different.

I cherish the healing reverence of grieving through acknowledgment and ritual. In my journey, I find gratitude, wisdom and healing here for myself. I know kindness is a beautiful virtue, perhaps the most important of human characteristics. I know new and ever evolving meanings of Truth and Story, with excitement. I have learned living a happy and grounded life requires honesty in every moment. I know first hand, spiritual does not mean rainbows and unicorns all the time, but the inspiration of Spirit is the nature of who we are, a reflection of the Divine, inclusive of everyone and all beliefs, even when they change, speaking to us in the ways we hear best. Encouraging us to be brave, to feel what is truly best for us in each moment, that’s where love is.

So yes, my journeys originally days including asking myself, ‘ am i grim reaper?’. The answer today is yes. I am a human broken and put back together work in progress, who hears the inspiration of Spirit, especially those in the sacred space of dying loudly and clearly. I am often humbled and re-humbled, saying yes to divine moments of communication for others, simply asking for Grace. Ever a student. Ever a women, a mother, a friend, a spouse, often a mess who still curses, and always reminded that Love Never Ends, the way we communicate simply changes and the Divine is in the darkness too.

Thank you for choosing Spirit, for saying yes to your inspiration that finds you here in this moment and reading my story. Always choose what is the most loving for you. I would be honored to be part of your story, and you a part of mine.

As ever.

Shannon Danielle